Love Until We Bleed (Then Fall Apart in Parts)
by futurerustfuture-dust
Summary: Steve is determined to test his own strength, including whether or not he can throw off Loki's mind control, and the god is only too willing to rise to the challenge. Frostshield.


The question had been simple enough when Steve had proposed it, though admittedly it had taken Loki off guard by how out of the blue it had been. The two men had been sitting at the kitchen table as they did most Sundays with the Captain's nose buried in the newspaper and Loki's own attention focused on a book he'd borrowed from Banner (the two had been swapping them since they'd discovered their mutual love for epic fiction; they now met every other weekend to compare opinions and contemplate how it could have been done better.) The premature rustle of the paper being put down was enough to cause Loki's fingers to tighten on their grip of the book, his ears listening hard, trying to determine just what the team leader was doing without making it look as though he cared. Apparently he was good enough at it because the Captain cleared his throat and shifted the paper away from him.

"Loki?"

"Yes Steven?"

He could all but hear Roger's jaw clench as his teeth gnashed together. Behind the book Loki hid his smirk. He knew the Captain hated his full name being used but Loki was a lover of button pushing and so did everything in his power to push the right ones; never hard enough to send someone over the edge but just enough to make things uncomfortable for the moment. It was his greatest strength.

"I've asked you before not to call me that."

"Is that why you put your paper down?" Loki's eyes peered over the top of his book at the man just opposite him. Steve's hands were clenched and folded in front of him, his knuckles going white as he stared hard at the trickster. Loki sighed. Fine, he would play nicely. Marking the page in his book he closed it and set it to the side before propping his head up on his bend hand. "How might I help you, Steve?"

"I have a question for you."

Yes, Loki thought he might, but he kept the snarky responses to himself. He had to admit that he was curious what the virtuous Captain Steve Rogers would want with Loki the Liesmith. It was an irresistible rouse. Steve didn't seem to know where to begin, Loki couldn't help but notice with a delighted smirk. The man was opening his mouth then closing it again, looking more of a lost goldfish than the proud red, white, and blue decked man Loki had become so familiar with. What had gotten him so tongue tied?

"Out with it, Rogers." Loki said finally, his patience waning. There was only so many times he could hear the man restart the same sentence.

"I want you to try your mind control trick . . . thing on me. Please." His face went six shades of red in a matter of moments though his eyes didn't shift away from Loki's when the god stared on in surprise. He'd anticipated something much worse than . . . the soldier really wanted that? He supposed he understood; Loki hadn't been lying when he said that every human craved subjugation, the inability to decide what to do, and the freedom and peace that one felt when they were following orders and didn't have to focus on the day to day. When all those decisions were made for you life was so much easier.

At least it would have worked in theory.

But why was the good Captain America asking him for that? He was the paradigm of a freedom fighter, one of the most outspoken advocates of what Loki had wanted to do. Yet there he was, sitting across from Loki, blue eyes as bright and patriotic as the shield the man carried into battle, meeting the trickster's without so much as a flinch.

"You are serious." Loki said, voice soft and eyes confused. What in the love of the nine realms was he playing at?

"I am. Can you still do it, even without the tesseract?"

"Of course I can." Loki said, sounding offended. His magic was far greater than Steve could imagine, no matter how creative he might have been. "The tesseract simply amplified my powers and made it easier. I can still mold your mind to my own whims, Steve Rogers." His voice became a low rumble, his lips a light smirk. He couldn't help but wonder just how far he could push the captain even before he got to play with his mind. And oh, what a joy that could be.

The captain barely managed to suppress a shudder Loki was delighted to notice, but he still stood firm. "Then I want you to do it."

"Why would you want that?" Loki asked, leaning back in his seat so that he could take in the broad figure in front of him. "I thought you believed in freedom."

"You were the one that said that this mind control would help us find peace. I want to know if I can withstand it. I want to know if I can . . . if I'm strong enough to break out of it."

Loki could tell that the man had been thinking about it for some time, his words were measured and he stared up at Loki as if expecting the god to tell him he was an idiot, as though he thought that he would be called weak. But his resolve did not sway, Loki was pleased to see. The mortal truly lived up to the title and his reputation.

And he would break him. The idea was delicious in itself, to see if the mighty Captain America could be stripped of his strength and resolve, to see if he could be bent, and then broken. Loki grinned at the thought, a sinister look that caused Steve's skin to rise in goosebumps. "Very well. If you wish to be tested then I see no reason why I should refuse you that. When do you wish it?"

Steve shrugged. "How about now?"

Very well. Loki stood slowly, feeling his bones pop with the movement and his muscles shifting as he crossed over to the soldier. Steve barely moved, tracing every movement with his eyes and turning to face the trickster, who'd come to sit just opposite him. Long fingers reached out towards Steve's chest and it took all of his training, all of his courage to sit perfectly still. Only when Loki's palm was flat against his heart did he do his best to relax. Loki's grin widened, feeling the soldier's heart growing more and more rapid underneath his touch. Was that fear that Loki saw in Steve's eyes, or curiosity? Perhaps both, and wouldn't that be interesting?

Loki didn't give the man time to prepare, pressing the magic into Steve Roger's heart and feeling rather than seeing it travel up through the man's bloodstream, watched with bated breath and bright eyes as the Captain's turned a familiar black, then light, vibrant blue.

It worked. Loki could see into the Captain's mind, watched him grow up a scrawny boy, watched his mother's deteriorating health and her last moment's in Steve's arms as the young boy sobbed-.

Loki was jolted back and fell off of his chair without so much as a warning. What. The hell. Was that? He looked up, eyes wild as he watched Steve's change back. The man hadn't so much as raised a hand to Loki, hadn't even shifted from his seat though he was sweating as though he'd run from one side of the world to the other.

"How in all of the realms did you do that?" Loki demanded. No one had ever defeated his spell before, no one had so much as ever come close to breaking free! The small glimpses of defiance from Barton were as close as it ever got, and that was simply the ingenuity of the archer's ability to tell the truth without telling all of it. But to throw off his spell completely?

"I don't-I don't know," Steve gasped, blinking rapidly and staring around as though he'd never seen the room before. "Did you see that? Everything that I just saw? When I was a kid and growing up and ma." His voice faltered for the first time in Loki's recollection and it was a miracle to see the man still so strong and so composed even as he remembered the passing of his mother.

But how the hell had he broken Loki's spell? The trickster couldn't get over it, and as he rose to sit opposite the Captain once more Steve's naturally blue eyes turned to face him. "Again."

"Begging your pardon?" Loki lifted an eyebrow, sure he'd heard the man right but wanting to check again. Just in case.

"I want you to do it again. I don't want you to get that far on me, and I want you to keep doing it until I can perfect it."

Loki's lips turned upwards in a sneer and he was about to say that it was ridiculous when Steve's hand came to cup the side of his face. The words never had tasted the fresh air.

"Loki. Please. Do that again. I want to know that I can do it." Steve's voice was very quiet, almost as though he were talking to someone on his deathbed. The intimacy of his words and his voice caused Loki's stomach to flop. Very well then. They went through it what felt like a million times, though in all likelihood it was within twenty times before Steve finally stopped reacting to the mind control at all. He was beaming through his own exhaustion when he finally managed to throw Loki off without so much as batting an eyelash. Loki was just glad it was over; it was nearly embarassing to know that there was someone out there who could resist him, resist his magic and power. Absently he tried throwing a simple freezing spell on the Captain's hands, not thinking a thing about it. The man's eyes went wide and his body went stock still as his hand was encased in ice.

"Wh-what? Stop this." Steve demanded and the joy of his face disappeared in favor of deep shock and horror. His whole body had begun to tremor, even as Loki reversed the spell. He'd forgotten that the man did not like ice.

"Apologies," Loki murmured. "I simply wondered if my magic worked on you at all and that was the first thing I could think of. Besides a burning spell."

"Next time go with fire," Steve said, voice hoarse as he swallowed hard and stood. "I'd rather burn."

He didn't say another word before walking off, leaving Loki to ponder over the man's tales of ice, wondering if he might coax one out of him one day. Not then, of course, but perhaps one day they would talk of ice and lost families and displacement in time. Loki moved back to his side of the table to pick up his book, wondering just how long he had to give the Captain time before they could have that conversation.

* * *

A/N: Title comes from the song "Until We Bleed" by Kleerup feat. Lykke Li. I highly recommend Mikael's Cello version-absolutely gorgeous. As always none of the characters belong to me, I just like to play with them.


End file.
